Posts tagged "self"
Feeling drained.

Feeling drained.

I find it very difficult to sleep in our bed when Yeager is away, so I’ve set up our futon in the living room and have been sleeping there all weekend.  Luckily, I’ve also had lady friends to share it with, but tonight it’s just me and Elvira.



Photo by Tressness, clothing and styling by RCB Fashion, MUAH by Susan Gramling

Photo by Tressness, clothing and styling by RCB Fashion, MUAH by Susan Gramling

&lt;3 &lt;3

<3 <3

My parents were always hoarders.  But now with me having been out of the house for four years, the place is getting worse and worse.  It is starting slowly to resemble one of those horrible, foreign places you see on the TV shows.  Not with trash (necessarily…), but with STUFF.  Everywhere.

When I left home, I asked them, please do not fill my room with stuff.  You can barely enter the room now.  What’s being kept in my old bedroom?  They couldn’t even tell you if they wanted to.  It’s pointless.  It’s a problem. It WAS going to become my mom’s sewing room.

The sunroom is hoarded.  The area between the sun room and the den is hoarded.  The basement, which used to be my haven as a teenager, is almost unusable.  And the kitchen is filled with not only stuff, but inhuman amounts of groceries (last time I was there they had enough frozen stuff to pack the freezer completely full, yet had just bought more, plus a bursting pantry, refrigerator, and lined floors with non perishables) and random things they just can’t bring themselves to throw away…  Like bottles, corks, rubber bands, really random bizarre things that any non-hoarder would throw away without a second thought. 

Their basement flooded.  I thought for sure that this would be the beginning of a major change for them, a reason to HAVE to get rid of things.  But no.  The soggy, destroyed boxes are now piled a story high outside the back of my parents’ house.  The excuse: it was too muddy to carry them up front to the curb after the flooding.  It has now been around 4-5 months since the event.  Yeager and I have offered multiple times to carry the boxes away for them, but every time there is some excuse.  Now they are rotting and crumbling away slowly in their backyard, exposed to the elements constantly, and most likely a breeding ground for snakes and other little animals.

I have tried on countless occasions to talk to them about the issue.  This either ends up in a fight, or with my mother’s feelings hurt.  I’m not looking for advice, I’m just looking to get this out there.  People used to wonder why I never had friends over much, and it’s because I was always a little ashamed of the way my family lived.  My family is by no means needy.  We do not need to save every little thing “just in case”, nor do we need to live in filth and not in comfort.  But they choose to do so.  And with my little brother leaving this upcoming fall for college, I am dreading what they’ll end up living in next.  His room is already a disaster area, as he has definitely inherited their tendencies to some extent. But what will they do? I worry that I, also, have inherited some hoarding tendencies, and often go on crazy, almost frantic cleaning sprees because of it, trying to seemingly purge my life of every little unnecessary thing I know I can go without.  But I worry it will catch up with me.  I just hope that my parents’ eyes will open and see what they could be doing with their lives if they just cleaned out the clutter a little bit.

Ladies night &lt;3

Ladies night <3

20-something. Spooky Kid. Skindicate Suspensions. Tattooed and employed. Atlanta native. In love. Anxious. Dreamer.

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