Posts tagged "advice"

Sexuality?

I’ve never had to think about my sexuality before. It’s kind of scary now that I’m actually doing it and it gives me a whole new respect for those who have had to think about it before rather than just being like “oh hey, I’m *insert sexuality here*” and being done with it.

The more I hear about asexuality, the more I identify with it. I have no desire to have sex anymore. Well, I do, but I don’t… I want to have sex with Yeager because I love him and care about him and want to make him happy, and it makes me feel really good to make him happy. Also, it feels good when we’re doing it. Trust me, it feels great. But I never initiate sex anymore. I consider myself to be a very sexual person, but at the same time, I never really feel “IN THE MOOD”. Although I am attracted to Yeager and find him to be extremely sexy and wonderful and all. I don’t even know. It’s all very very confusing to me, and if anyone has any advice or information or whatever about asexuality or just their own experiences, please let me know? I’m very confused.

*Please note that I am on anti depressant/anxiety medication, which I have heard decreases sex drive.

Fat.

Tomorrow I’m going to be wearing a really skimpy outfit to a party. And It’s finally kind of sinking in that… I’m not exactly the skinniest little thing around. So I’m actually getting kind of nervous about wearing my outfit. I’m going to be wearing neon fishnets, tiny little spandex shorts, my doc martens, a white bikini top, and neon pink tape over my nipples. Plus a cat mask and feather boa as a tail. And glow paint. And glow sticks. But yes. Not much clothing. 

I’m really nervous. I’m just now trying to start accepting my body for the way it is, but it’s been really difficult. If anybody has anything to say, words of encouragement, or just feel similarly, please don’t hold back. Hearing from other people really helps me a lot of the time.

20-something. Spooky Kid. Skindicate Suspensions. Tattooed and employed. Atlanta native. In love. Anxious. Dreamer.

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